


11037

by PsychedelicatePoltergeist



Series: Divided By Despair [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, DR3 AU, Drama & Romance, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Escapism, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, post-sdr2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 08:32:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10827618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychedelicatePoltergeist/pseuds/PsychedelicatePoltergeist
Summary: After he and the rest of the survivors of the School Trip of Mutual Killing escape the Neo World Program, Kazuichi remembers someone he'd loved before despair ruined everything.





	11037

**Author's Note:**

> Good grief... I've finally got this oneshot out of the road! Once this plot bunny first appeared, it would not go away, and once I started writing this, I couldn't stop. So to anyone who's reading this who's following Screams and Sighs, I apologise for the delay of the next chapter! I'll try to finish it within the next week or two!
> 
> It should be noted that I have not watched DR3 yet, so consider this an AU of sorts to what happens in that anime. I have meddled with some elements that may be present there in order for them to fit this story.
> 
> That said, please enjoy this fic! ^_^

_Kazuichi Souda twisted the knob and pushed the door open, stepping into his new dorm. It seemed that aside from the two beds, the bedside table and the shelves, one side of the room was now occupied with J-rock posters, baseball equipment, clothing and an assortment of half-filled suitcases and backpacks. He chuckled quietly to himself - it appeared that he wasn’t the only one who’d overdone it with the packing._

_He dropped his own bags onto the floor in the bare side of the room and flopped onto the bed, lazily kicking off his shoes. He’d unpack later, he decided._

_Soon enough, the door opened again. A red-haired boy had entered the room and approached him with a grin. “I take it you’re my roommate, huh?” he asked._

_Kazuichi nodded. “I think so. That’s your shit over there, isn’t it?”_

_The boy chuckled. “Yeah, that’s all mine. I haven’t finished unpacking just yet. Name’s Leon Kuwata - and yours?”_

_“Kazuichi Souda. Nice to meetcha!”_

_“Same to you!” Leon grinned heartily. “So what’s your talent? I’m the Ultimate Baseball Star, though I’d really rather be the Ultimate Rockstar or something…”_

_Well, that explained all of the J-rock posters and baseball equipment on his side of the room._

_“I’m the Ultimate Mechanic!” Kazuichi replied enthusiastically. “I love taking things apart and seeing what’s inside and how they work!”_

_The two of them continued to chat as they unpacked their suitcases. This was a good start, Kazuichi figured._

***

Kazuichi cautiously opened his eyes, which seemed to be gazing upwards at some kind of green-tinted dome. He groaned quietly at his attempt to move; his limbs had stiffened to a great degree after all this time. Even his eyes were stiff, like a rusty appendage of a machine. He hoped he’d at least have some kind of assistance to get out of here.

He let his mind wander back to the world he’d been in on his way back here, in what he hoped was the real world. He’d just arrived at Hope’s Peak Academy, seen his dorm, and met his roommate - what was his name again? Lee Kusabe or something? Well, it wasn’t like it really mattered, anyway; he probably wasn’t very close to this guy. They were probably just two guys who happened to share a dorm, nothing more than that.

He wondered if that was a memory - a memory of what things were like before the Neo World Program. A memory of his school days. He found it odd how only this one-note roommate of his was the first person he saw.

Kazuichi’s pod had popped open at that moment, and he had been so deep in thought that he’d cried out in surprise. Standing before him was a boy - a boy whom he didn’t recognise at all. _Must be Hajime,_ he figured, as he stared down the long, thick hair that trailed down the boy’s figure.

“Well?” The boy spoke up, and Kazuichi noted that yes, it was Hajime Hinata alright. “Let’s go, Kazuichi.”

***

_“H-hey! You’re gonna get up soon, right!?”_

_“Oh, c’mon, fuck off… gimme five more minutes at least!”_

_Kazuichi slumped down in defeat, having given up at tugging at Leon’s goatee. He’d already had to spend five minutes getting him to even open his eyes, and now that he was awake Leon was determined to go back to sleep. He groaned - this guy was hopeless._

_“Well, if you wanna miss out on breakfast, that’s your choice,” he sighed. “Don’t cry over the damn milk that you spilled yourself.”_

_Leon grumbled something unintelligible and turned to his side, leaving Kazuichi free to go down to the dining hall alone. It was worth a shot, at least._

***

The brief memory had come to Kazuichi whilst he was in a meeting room with the four other survivors of the School Trip of Mutual Killing, along with the three Future Foundation members who’d rescued them. He glanced around him, trying his best to ignore the dizzy spell that had fallen upon him at that moment, and found that the former group all appeared to be in a daze. Had they regained a memory just then, too?

“Hey, are you guys okay?” Makoto Naegi asked them, concerned.

“I believe they’ve each just recieved a memory of their past lives at Hope’s Peak,” Kyoko Kirigiri spoke up. “They may have also received one as soon as they awakened from the simulation.”

“So we’re all sporadically getting our memories back?” Sonia Nevermind asked.

“Perhaps,” Kyoko replied. “But it’s much too early to tell at this moment. Now then, shall we return to what we were discussing earlier?”

***

_“Why exactly did you drag me out here to watch this boring-ass shit?” Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu grumbled._

_“Because my bro Leon’s playing, remember?” Kazuichi replied indignantly._

_“I thought he wanted to be a rockstar or some shit.”_

_Kazuichi shrugged. “Must be hard to have two talents at once.”_

_“No, seriously, what’s the deal? Why was he enrolled as the Ultimate Baseball Star when he could’ve been the Ultimate Rockstar?”_

_“No idea. I guess I’ll have to ask him.”_

_The distant_ thwack _of bat meeting ball jolted the two back to their senses, and Kazuichi rose to his feet and cheered as Leon dropped the bat and ran all of the bases as though he’d been doing this his entire life. Once he’d ran across the final base, he looked up at Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi sitting in the grandstand and gave them both a thumbs-up._

 _Kazuichi smiled, before he rose to his feet and cheered loudly for his roommate. He wished that this moment would never end_.

***

“Oi, Fuyuhiko.”

“Hmm?” Fuyuhiko looked up from the pod he’d been staring down at - the one Peko Pekoyama was contained in, Kazuichi couldn’t help but notice. “Oh, Kazu, it’s you. Whatcha after?”

“I was wondering if you remember someone named Leon Kuwata,” Kazuichi explained. “From our school days, I mean.”

Fuyuhiko’s single eye lit up in recognition. “So you had that weird-ass baseball memory too, huh?”

“The one where we watched him at a baseball game?”

“Yeah, that’s the one. First time I got to see you in a memory.”

“Yeah,” Kazuichi laughed. “So I think we were at least good buds back in the day.”

“That’s good to know, yeah. Think it’s anything like how we are now?”

“Man, I hope so.” Kazuichi wrapped an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder. “How much do you wanna bet that we just locked ourselves in one of our dorms one night and stayed up all night in bed together having-”

“I told you, Kazu, we’re not going to do that, no matter what happens!”

“But what if we’ve already done it, hmm?”

Fuyuhiko scowled. “If we have, then it’ll be the biggest regret in my entire life.”

“Keep telling yourself that, Fuyu,” Kazuichi teased.

“I told you not to call me that!”

“But it’s cute, Fuyu,” he insisted. “Just like you.”

Kazuichi smirked as Fuyuhiko blushed a little, turning away from him in order to hide the pink staining his cheeks. He did have to wonder how his relationship with Fuyuhiko had turned out back in the good old days.

And yet, he also wondered what had happened to Leon Kuwata after all these years.

***

_“Y’know, I have better things to do than stare at Miss Princess all day,” Leon grunted._

_“Shhh.” Kazuichi glared at his companion, before turning back to the sight before him - Sonia tending to a couple of rather cute hamsters. “We need to find out where the hell these hamsters came from. If Gundam’s trying to hit on her this way, I swear…”_

_Leon sighed. Bored out of his mind, he extracted a baseball from his pocket and lazily bounced it up and down onto the cold cemented floor. Kazuichi quickly turned and snatched the baseball straight out of his hands._

_“You don’t have to be here if you don’t want to,” he hissed. “Just keep it down, okay?”_

_Leon sighed as he scratched the back of his neck. “Can we at least do something else for a change? We- you’ve been stalking Sonia for at least a week by now. I don’t get what’s so great about her besides the fact she’s a princess.” He grinned cheekily at Kazuichi. “Can we at least stalk Sayaka at some point? I mean, idol singers are way cuter, don’t you think?”_

_“Not as interesting as princesses from faraway lands,” Kazuichi pointed out._

_“Oh, c’mon dude, she’s not even interested in you! Just let it go already, let ‘er do her own thing.”_

_“Oh, she’ll notice me one day, bro, you’ll see!”_

_It was a miracle that Sonia hadn’t heard them by now. She was still petting and teasing the cute hamsters in her lap without a care in the world, as though there weren’t two schoolboys hiding behind a giant potted plant arguing with each other over her. A third hamster soon joined the ones who were with her, and she smiled in delight as they all nuzzled up to her affectionately._

_“It appears that the Dark Devas of Destruction have taken quite a liking to you, Dark Queen of the Underworld”, a deep voice boomed._

_Kazuichi cringed as Sonia and Gundam Tanaka happily conversed with one another. They seemed to be vividly engaged in the discussion; it amazed him how Sonia was able to keep up with Gundam’s weird “dark lord” terminology as well as she was, let alone at all._

_“Ugh, c’mon Kazu, let’s just go,” Leon grumbled as he rose to his feet. “Just leave ‘em alone, let them have their own-” Gundam had dipped his head down to meet Sonia’s lips with his own “...time to themselves.”_

_Kazuichi swallowed as he quickly turned away from the sight that was plaguing him and mindlessly followed Leon out of the common room. Once they were in the hallway, Leon slowed down a little in order to walk alongside Kazuichi._

_“Hey, don’t worry, Kazu,” he reassured him with a smile. “I’m sure there’s someone out there who’ll love you for you. Because trust me, who wouldn’t?”_

***

The memory that passed left Kazuichi smiling with a tear in his eye. Of course, Kazuichi didn’t believe him at the time, but in hindsight, he could confidently say that Leon was right - in the Neo World Program, and perhaps at Hope’s Peak Academy as well, he’d found a lover in one of the last people he’d expected. Fuyuhiko. The one person in the Neo World Program who’d always looked out for him, and actually made an effort to get to know him. It was their combined effort to actually become good friends that eventually led to the birth of romantic feelings - and Kazuichi cracked a grin still to this day as he remembered the time Fuyuhiko bluntly confessed his feelings for him. Hell, if it weren’t for Fuyuhiko, he’d likely be among the comatose students at this very moment.

Kazuichi closed his eyes as he fondly looked back on all of the memories he’d recovered thus far. It no longer surprised him that many of them focused on Leon Kuwata, his best friend at the Academy alongside Fuyuhiko (although that of course was subject to change). He also remembered Leon’s own friends, who would often stop by and hang out with him and Kazuichi - Mondo Oowada and Chihiro Fujisaki. Curiously enough, Leon, Mondo and Chihiro were all in the same class as Makoto, Kyoko and Byakuya Togami. Kazuichi made a mental note to ask them if they remembered these three students.

And he wondered - where were they now? They had to be somewhere out there in the destruction beyond the safe abode that was Jabberwock Island. Were they still alive, at least? Did they even know that Kazuichi was a member of Ultimate Despair? He hoped not - he couldn’t bear to imagine how disappointed they’d be with him. How disappointed Leon would be with him.

He stared out the window that looked out to the beach and the sea that endlessly stretched out to the outside world. He placed an index finger to his chin and sighed.

“Leon,” he spoke, despite the fact that no one was in the room with him, “I’m so sorry for all the shit I got you into. I don’t care if you forgive me or not… I just hope you’re still alive and kicking. And I hope that maybe we can meet again, one day…”

***

_“So there’s someone I’m into,” Leon announced, swinging his legs beneath the futon he sat on._

_“Yeah, it’s Sayaka, I know,” Kazuichi dismissed. “It’s been that way ever since we-”_

_“Not anymore,” Leon interrupted. “I lost interest in her awhile ago, didn’t I tell you?”_

_Kazuichi thought back on what he and Leon had done in the past week. They’d tested out the new baseball machine Kazuichi had made him for his birthday, approached Ibuki Mioda and asked her for tips on how to make it to the music business, driven Kiyotaka Ishimaru crazy by playing downball in the hallways, and “studied” together (which often instead involved playing video games on the library computers). Oddly enough, they hadn’t stalked Sayaka Maizono at all that week; in fact, Leon hadn’t even asked if they could. Nor had he mentioned her at all._

_Kazuichi laughed. “I should’ve known,” he said. “So who’s this new chick you’re into, then?”_

_“Well, here’s the thing…” Leon nervously scratched the back of his neck. “It’s not a chick.”_

_“A dude?” That threw Kazuichi for a loop. Leon, into dudes? It couldn’t be. Leon was one of the straightest guys he knew. Not like I’m much better, he thought, as he remembered the few occasions where he’d looked at a guy and thought he was cute or hot. His face burned in embarrassment at the past moments of attraction he’d experienced._

_“Yeah. I realised only recently that I’m into both of ‘em - dudes and chicks. Bit strange, ain’t it?”_

_“Why would it be?” Kazuichi blurted out. “Guys can be cute too… sometimes…” His cheeks darkened into a deeper shade of red. “B-but it’s not like I’m into them, myself! I’m still straight! ...I think…”_

_“Kazu, you can’t fool me,” Leon chuckled. “You’re about as straight as a circle.”_

_“Just because I was staring at you shirtless that one time?”_

_“You were what?”_

_Kazuichi’s face was now burning like a flame. “I-I never said that!” he cried._

_Leon laughed good-naturedly. “So I think I can tell you who I’m into without you freaking out over who it is, then,” he said. “It’s a certain pink-haired cutie who’s sitting in front of me at this very moment,”_

_“Wh-what?” Kazuichi was otherwise lost for words._

_“I’m into you, Kazu,” Leon repeated, his face contorting into a more serious expression. “Now I know it’s weird for me to be saying that, ‘cuz, y’know, we’re best friends, we’re both dudes, all that jazz. But lemme say this - if you don’t feel the same, it’s cool. I don’t intend on changing our friendship in any way if that’s not what you want.”_

_Kazuichi’s throat had dried up at some point within the past minute. He didn’t know what to say, or how to react, or even what he thought of the entire situation. Did his best friend, his soul friend, just say he had the hots for him? Or did he mean something more than that? Or was this some lousy prank? He didn’t know, it was all too much for him to take in._

_He felt a hand placed cautiously on his shoulder, and so he looked up to see Leon, glancing down at him with a look of concern. “You ‘kay, Kazu?” he asked. “You sure look spooked.”_

_Kazuichi nodded stiffly. “I-I’m fine, I’m just… trying to process all this. I guess. You’re… completely serious, are you?”_

_“Yeah…” Leon stared at the ground, a hint of pink staining his cheeks. “It’s kinda more of a lust thing, though. Like, I’d totally shag you if I could.”_

_“D-don’t just say things like that!” Kazuichi exclaimed as his blush returned in full force._

_“Oh, c’mon, don’t turn me on like this Kazu,” Leon joked._

_“How about you stop making me blush like a giggly schoolgirl!?” Kazuichi cried indignantly. “Jeez…” He stiffened as he noticed that Leon seemed to be staring at his crotch. “H-hey, what the hell’re you looking at!?”_

_“Haven’t you noticed, Kazu?” Leon smirked. “You’re hard right now.”_

***

Kazuichi splashed the cold water over his face in a desperate attempt to forget the memory he’d regained just then. He’d discovered that he was somewhat attracted to other males - both romantically and sexually - during his time in the Neo World Program; in fact, he’d even gotten used to the fact that Fuyuhiko was the only male he’d ever willingly date. But now that he knew that Leon Kuwata was sexually attracted to him, and that this attraction was highly likely to be mutual, he wasn’t so sure.

He needed to tell Fuyuhiko about this latest development, he realised, and his heart sank. Did this mean that perhaps he hadn’t dated Fuyuhiko back at Hope’s Peak after all? No, he doubted it - maybe this whole thing with Leon was just a one-time thing. Maybe this was simply a night of experimentation, and then they just went back to being best friends the next day as though nothing had happened. Either way, Fuyuhiko had to be informed of this.

He turned the tap off and left his cottage, heading off to the hotel - which was where Fuyuhiko was most often found nowadays. And sure enough, that was exactly where he was - he was sitting at a table, reading a novel. He set the book down on the table face-down without closing it as Kazuichi approached him, looking up at him.

“Yo, Kazu,” he said. “What did you remember this time?”

“More Leon,” Kazuichi sighed. “More Leon, and more complications.”

“The fuck are you talking about?” Fuyuhiko raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

“Well…” Kazuichi hesitated. It was only when Fuyuhiko glared at him as though saying “Spit it out already” that he cleared his throat and tried again. “Leon told me he had the hots for me. Then he started teasing and flirting with me, and I ended up getting a boner, and… well, that’s when the memory ended, but…”

“So you slept with him,” Fuyuhiko concluded.

Kazuichi nodded slowly. “Well, I think so, anyway.”

Fuyuhiko shrugged. “It’s not like I care either way, Kazu,” he said. “This is shit that happened in the past - the past we didn’t even remember while we were in that fuckin’ simulation. What I’m worried more about is the present.” He rose from his seat, stood beside Kazuichi and squeezed his hand tightly. “We survived the Neo World Program together, Kazu. If we can do that, then I’m sure we can continue to be with each other without some dude you probably had a one-night stand with causing a stupid commotion that would only belong in a shitty soap opera.”

Kazuichi chuckled a little as he knelt down to kiss Fuyuhiko’s cheek. “You never fail at cheering me up, dude,” he said.

“Shut it.” Fuyuhiko nudged him in the side, although Kazuichi failed to miss the relieved smile on his face.

***

_Kazuichi had stopped being surprised at this point. Once again, he’d awakened with his arms wrapped around the bare torso of his roommate. Once again, he’d blushed as he recalled the activities they’d engaged in the previous night, and how they’d gone a little further than last time. He’d even come to expect Kiyotaka to burst in and give them both a detention for disturbing the students in the surrounding dorms, even though this had only happened twice._

_It was rather safe to say that Kazuichi had now gotten used to this new degree of friendship. “Friends with benefits”, as they called it. And yet, he couldn’t help but wonder if there was more to it than that. It worried him how his interest in Sonia and rampant jealousy of Gundam were vanishing quicker than they’d appeared - and they had appeared rather quickly. The warmth in his heart as he exhaustedly held Leon close to him worried him even more._

_Eventually, Leon murmured something sleepily as he slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes. “Mornin’, Kazu,” he spoke with a smile as he turned to face Kazuichi._

_“Mornin’, Leon,” Kazuichi replied._

_They took a few moments to adjust their positions, sitting up against the bedpost, still mostly covered by the single blanket they shared. They were still a little too lazy to get out of bed at that moment._

_“So Kazu, I’ve been thinking…”_

_“Yeah?” Kazuichi glanced expectantly at the companion beside him._

_“I… well, okay, lemme ask ya somethin’. What does this mean to you?”_

_“Huh?” Kazuichi blinked in confusion. “Don’t be vague, you bastard, my brain’s still half-asleep.”_

_Leon laughed at that. “Alright, alright. How ‘bout this - what does our relationship mean to you? Like, do you think we’re fuckbuddies, or something more, or…?”_

_Of course that question had to come up. It’d been a long time coming, because Kazuichi wasn’t quite sure himself. Was Leon confused too? Or was he just curious?_

_“Well, here’s the thing, bro,” Kazuichi replied. “I have no clue.”_

_“Huh…” Leon absently twirled his goatee, a surefire sign that he was in deep thought. “I’ve been confused about that too, actually. I’ve spent the last few days thinking on it, and I think I’ve found an answer last night, just before I went to sleep.”_

_“Yeah?” Kazuichi decided not to dwell on his pessimistic thoughts for the moment._

_“Well… y’know how I was crushing on Sayaka, right? How I always wanted her to notice me, how I kinda just wanted to cuddle her and take her out to a rock concert and give her presents like flowers and shit - you remember all that, right?”_

_Kazuichi nodded._

_“Well… how should I put this… I kinda wanna do the same things with you. Except… my feelings towards you are a lot more intense, I guess. Probably because we’re Soul Friends as well,” he chuckled. “But, well… yeah. I like you, Kazu. Probably more than I should.”_

_The whirlpool of emotions turning inside Kazuichi shocked him more than the confession itself. Why did he feel so… joyful? Why did he feel as though he could dance around the Academy like a lunatic without a care in the world? He remembered the happiness he’d gained along with his first friends since middle school - Leon and Fuyuhiko. Granted, he was much closer to Leon, but he hung out with Fuyuhiko quite often as well, and trusted him to an impressive degree. Was there something else that was missing, all this time? Was there something else, that he thought he could find in Sonia…?_

_In hindsight, he realised, there was something missing in his relationship with Leon - something that rendered it all incomplete. So could that something be…?_

_“Is… is this really happening?” Kazuichi swallowed. “I mean… this is kind of a big deal, y’know?”_

_“Yeah, I get what you’re saying,” Leon affirmed to him. “If you don’t feel the same way-”_

_“I do, though.”_

_Kazuichi mentally slapped himself for his inability to stop those words from being said. But then, if those words were true - and they were, Kazuichi realised - then what did this mean for his relationship with Leon? Were they going to start dating? Did Kazuichi want them to start dating?_

_Leon placed a hand on his shoulder and grinned at him. “I’m not used to the whole dating idea either,” he admitted, as though he’d read Kazuichi’s mind. “So I guess we could just take it slow, then? Only if you want to, of course.”_

_Kazuichi laughed. “That works for me.”_

_And they sealed the deal with a kiss._

***

Kazuichi had awoken in a daze. He lay in his futon, blinking in disbelief, a new swarm of memories occupying his memory bank and an oddly strong feeling of warmth in his heart - the warmth he only felt when Fuyuhiko was around.

Friends with benefits, he could somewhat understand, especially given Fuyuhiko’s aversion to anything sexual. But for him and Leon to actually harbour romantic feelings for each other - if anyone had told him that he had dated his best friend and roommate back at Hope’s Peak Academy, he’d laugh it off and thank the person for the good joke. But now that he remembered that he and Leon had confessed their feelings for each other and agreed to “take it slow”, right there in that futon, all of the feelings associated with that moment as well as potential future moments had returned to him as though he really was back at Hope’s Peak Academy, in a time before despair had reigned supreme.

He sighed. He had something new to tell his current boyfriend, at least.

***

“So you two actually liked each other. Like, more than just “we’re best friends who fuck every now and then because we’re horny bastards.””

Kazuichi nodded slowly.

Fuyuhiko bit his lip in concern. “This is gonna be troublesome, y’know,” he said. “You have no idea what even happened to this dude, do you?”

“Nope. I don’t have a clue where he’s at or anything.”

“That’s the thing - he could be dead, Kazu. And even if he was still alive…” Fuyuhiko trailed off, but Kazuichi got the message. Even if Leon was still alive, Kazuichi had still been a part of Ultimate Despair. The chances of Leon knowing this were dangerously high, given the fact that he was Kazuichi’s roommate and… soul friend? Boyfriend? Whatever he was, even if he was still alive, he probably hated Kazuichi at this very moment. He might’ve even feared him.

“I don’t even care what he thinks of me,” Kazuichi croaked as he squeezed his eyes shut, using the strength he had to keep the tears in his watery eyes from falling. “I just want him to be alive and safe… wherever he is.”

Fuyuhiko simply pulled him in an embrace without a reply.

***

The next couple of weeks were hectic. Some of the comatose students had finally began to awaken, and the survivors of the School Trip of Mutual Killing plus the Future Foundation were bustling around and explaining everything that had happened to them. As far as memories went, they seemed to already have all of their memories from within the simulation, with the ones from their time at Hope’s Peak Academy gradually pouring in - much like the survivors. Kazuichi wondered if any of them remembered Leon; he knew Ibuki hung out with him on occasion, and Nagito Komaeda had somehow obtained an autograph from him. He decided to ask them sometime soon.

Meanwhile, his own memories continued to return to him over those next few weeks, and he found himself longing after Leon more and more as a result. It had gotten to the point where his feelings for Fuyuhiko came into question - did he still love him? He knew he still loved Leon, now that he’d remembered everything they had done back at Hope’s Peak Academy. However, he still felt an undeniable closeness to Fuyuhiko despite that.

The memories - of which Leon and Kazuichi would go on dates and go about their daily lives - were always recalled on a bittersweet note. Kazuichi, for the most part, enjoyed them, for it felt as though he were experiencing all of these dates, these affectionate gestures, these nighttime activities he’d forgotten about in real-time. It was almost as though Leon was right there with him. However, the more the memories returned to him, the more time he spent wondering where Leon was and realising that given the circumstances, Leon was either dead or hating his guts. Or perhaps the worst had happened - Leon had died while hating his guts. It wracked him with guilt to know that he, as Ultimate Despair, had ruined - perhaps even stolen - Leon’s life.

The memories leading up to Class 77’s rise to Ultimate Despair weren’t helping at all, as Kazuichi recalled the murder of Natsumi Kuzuryuu and the death of her killer shortly afterwards, and how distraught Mahiru Koizumi had been after the latter was killed. From there, everything in Hope’s Peak Academy and Class 77 had taken on a rather bleak atmosphere - even Leon was stressed from it. It didn’t help that it was all during the most intense period of baseball season.

The resurfacing of these memories was a struggle for all of the simulation’s survivors, and the Future Foundation had failed to come up with a solution to stop them. They had come up with a drug that would lessen the effects of the despair-inducing memories, and Makoto had called a trained therapist and ally of the Foundation down to the island, but that was the most they could do - they had to relieve the worst moments of their entire lives. It was going to be a struggle not to slip straight back into despair even with each other, the drug and the therapist to support them.

It was on one evening where Kazuichi was struggling to sleep, hugging his pillow tightly in the hopes that it would help, when a knock sounded on his door. He slowly rose to his feet and opened the door to let his visitor in.

He was somewhat relieved, and yet surprised, to find that it was Fuyuhiko.

“I’m allowed in, right?”

Kazuichi sighed. One of the worst things about this time of struggle was how he and Fuyuhiko had distanced from each other. As Peko had awoken just a couple of days back, Fuyuhiko had been focused on bringing her up to speed on everything that had occurred after her execution in the Neo World Program, assuring her, and overall just talking to her. Kazuichi, meanwhile, had found himself engrossed in the past, in a time where everything was almost perfect and the biggest thing he had to worry about was how to pass a gruelling exam.

He figured that now would be a good time to at least try to recover what was left of his relationship with Fuyuhiko. He still wasn’t sure whether or not he could still say he loved Fuyuhiko and mean it, but he hoped that this encounter would help him find out.

“Sure,” he replied to him. “I could use some company.”

Fuyuhiko nodded as he removed his shoes and stepped inside Kazuichi’s cottage. He raised an eyebrow at the empty cola bottles strewn all over the floor. “Been drowning your sorrows or some shit?” he observed.

Kazuichi shrugged. “I just like cola moreso than usual nowadays,” he reasoned.

Fuyuhiko grunted in disbelief. He sat himself down on Kazuichi’s bed and fiddled with his tie. Kazuichi had a bad feeling that this visit wasn’t going to end well.

“So, Kazuichi,” the shorter man began, “I came over here because I have something I wanna tell you.”

Kazuichi swallowed. He nodded quickly, urging Fuyuhiko to get it over with.

“Just to make it clear, I’m not dumping you or anything like that,” Fuyuhiko clarified, and a small portion of relief was lifted off of Kazuichi’s shoulders. “It’s just, I’ve noticed that you’ve been acting all weird lately, and… I think it’s just best that I tell you now and get rid of whatever doubts you have.”

“Huh? What’s all this about?” Kazuichi asked.

“Well, remember how back in the Neo World Program, on the fourth island, we found that book about the School Life of Mutual Killing?”

Kazuichi nodded.

“And it had all the photos of all the kids involved in it?”

Kazuichi nodded again. He only remembered one of the faces there - the real Byakuya Togami, and how he and the others thought who turned out to be the Ultimate Imposter really was the Ultimate Affluent Progeny.

“Well, I still remember one of the kids who was involved in it, according to that book,” Fuyuhiko continued. “And I’m surprised you don’t remember it at all… but, basically, Leon’s photo was in there.”

Kazuichi froze. Leon… had been involved in that? He was in a killing game too? It was too horrific for him to believe.

“No,” he choked. “It has to be a mistake… m-maybe you remembered wrong, maybe it was just a lookalike.”

Fuyuhiko grimly shook his head. “I’m afraid it was him, Kazu,” he said quietly. “He had the red hair, the blue eyes, the goatee, the stupid-looking grin on his face. His photo was in there.”

“...do you know if he survived?”

“Yeah, that’s the thing, bro…” Fuyuhiko bit his lip. “He was the culprit in the first trial. According to Makoto, anyway.”

“C-culprit!?” The world was spinning before Kazuichi's eyes, and he felt as though he was going to vomit. Why would Leon kill anyone? Was he desperate to escape? No, Leon would never spill blood with his own hands, even if he was trapped in a killing game much like the one that Kazuichi himself had endured.

“He killed that Sayaka Maizono chick out of self-defence,” Fuyuhiko explained. “She was going to kill him in Makoto’s dorm as a frame-up, but Leon figured out what was going on pretty quickly and tried to stop her… he accidentally killed her in the process.”

Sayaka Maizono. That was the girl Leon had admired and looked up to due to her musical talent and success in the music industry, Kazuichi remembered. And she had tried - succeeded, in fact - to kill off Leon… Kazuichi would never see her in the same light again - and yet, he couldn’t bring himself to be angry with her.

“He died because of us…” Kazuichi muttered. “She died because of us…”

Fuyuhiko nodded solemnly. “Directly or not, we took millions of innocent lives. Our families. Our friends. Even our past lovers - in your case, anyway.”

Kazuichi blinked away the tears that threatened to stream down his face. “I’m sorry, Leon…” he whispered. But he knew that a mere apology wasn’t going to be enough. It wasn’t going to bring Leon back. It wasn’t going to bring anyone back. This wasn’t a virtual reality this time. Leon was not merely in a coma. He was dead, he was never going to reawaken, and it was all thanks to Kazuichi.

“...if it makes you feel better, though I’m not sure if it will…” Fuyuhiko spoke up, “...all the students involved in that killing game had their memories of Hope’s Peak taken from them, too. Only the survivors - Makoto, Kyoko, Byakuya, Yasuhiro, Aoi and Touko - got to have those memories, and even then, only after they were rescued by Future Foundation.”

“So Leon didn’t even know I existed…?”

“I’m afraid not. But hey, at least all those good times and whatnot you two had together can live on with you.”

“...I guess that’s true.”

“Speaking of which…” Fuyuhiko pulled a slip of paper and a pen out of the pocket of his blazer, laid the paper on his lap, and quickly wrote something on it before holding it in front of Kazuichi. “Remember what this is?” Written on the slip of paper was “11037”.

“...hey, isn’t that the password to the ruins in the simulation?” Kazuichi asked, confused. “What does that have to do with anything?”

Fuyuhiko flipped the paper around so that it was upside-down, and Kazuichi immediately understood. The upside-down password resembled the word “LEON”.

“This password was used in memory of Leon and Sayaka,” Fuyuhiko explained. “While she was dying, Sayaka drew that number on the wall with her own blood in order to tell everyone else that Leon was the one who killed her. She drew that number because when you flip it upside-down, it spells out Leon’s name.”

At that, the dam finally burst, and tears poured down Kazuichi’s cheeks. Fuyuhiko noticed this immediately, and pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry for telling you all this, Kazu,” he murmured as the mechanic sobbed against his chest. “But things would’ve only gotten worse if you never knew what happened to him.”

“Y-yeah,” Kazuichi replied, understanding.

Fuyuhiko held his boyfriend close to him, patting his back reassuringly as he continued to weep. “I’ll always be here for you,” he assured him. “Things are pretty shit right now, but we’ve got each other’s backs. If we can survive the Neo World Program together, we can survive this, too.”

Kazuichi looked up at Fuyuhiko, a teary, grateful smile on his face. “Thank you,” he said. “Thank you so much…”

“Anytime. Now c’mon, stop crying already and let’s, I dunno, sleep together or somethin’.”

They did - Kazuichi eventually quieted down, and the two of them changed into their sleeping clothes and lay together in the single bed. They had fallen asleep in no time.

***

“You want _what?_ ”

“You heard me,” Kazuichi grinned. “A tattoo of the number “11037” on my arm. Bit ambitious, I know, but markers aren’t actually permanent, y’know?”

Byakuya sighed in irritation. “Fine, we’ll get that organised when we can. I can’t make any promises, though.”

“Thank you.”

Kazuichi lifted up the sleeve of his jumpsuit and smiled at the large purple “11037” he had drawn on his arm with permanent marker. It was a hassle to redo it so many times, but at least it still sent the same message across.

 _Don’t worry, Leon,_ he thought as he ran off to join Fuyuhiko, Gundam and Sonia, who were all waiting for him at the beach. _I’ll be fine. I have three things on my side - hope, my friends and my boyfriend, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu._


End file.
